Every time I get tired and grizzle at the overwhelming task of raising four children and how it is slowly driving me to whisper things to myself wide-eyed around the houes, I occasionally get reminded that "well... you chose this.. you wanted four.." OK. Even if it were true that I purposely decided to 'bring this all upon myself', I'm sure most parents with a lot of children will agree with me (deep down of course) when I say 'If I knew then, what I know now...'. Don't get me wrong. My children are happy, healthy, fun and gorgeous and I wouldn't trade places with anyone now that I've met them (ok, truthfully, maybe I'd swap with some people I know ...for at least a day or two), but four is definitely hard work. Dividing my time, my brain and even my physical self into four is just exhausting.. bordering on schizophrenic!! Dividing it again into my work, Grant's work, house building, children's lives', birthday parties etc... well, you can see why I sometimes want to get into the foetal position, rock and sob. But I don't. Why? Because I know that I am building the foundation of an amazing life... I am actually creating my own reality. It won't be long before my struggling new business is a thriving company giving me the opportunity to achieve things I always dreamed of and to allow me to have the gift in my life of 'choice'. Those four little people will grow up to, all going well if we survive the teenage years, become my dear friends and a support to me when I'm old, my chin needs wiping and I need to be wheeled into the sun. The house building headache will turn into a solid family home to be proud of that will not just increase in value, but hold memories for all my family and friends. Grant's work, which is becoming more and more successful every year, will have grown to a point that he can sell it and turn to a change of career that he dreams of. Yes, all these years of tears, nights staring at the ceiling in a rented home too small, car trips with passengers of noisy and teary little ones "he's breathing on me", "she's looking at me".."it's MY turn in the front!"... (OK, it's the driver that can get teary), the piles of bookwork and bills... it will all be worth it I am sure. Anyway, as you can imagine, I have to keep telling myself that or I won't make it through tomorrow.
So, to any parents out there or to anyone who feels they have taken on too much, just remember to keep your eye on the big picture, know that you are not alone and never stop moving. Your day will come and that feeling, believe it or not, is what makes you start all over again when the next dream sticks it head around the corner!
Quote of the day:
Anything's possible if you've got enough nerve. - J. K. Rowling
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